This upcoming anniversary will be my wife and mine’s tenth wedding anniversary. In that time, who we were separately and as a couple together in a relationship is completely different than what it is now. We have grown individually, we have grown together, and we have also hit barriers in marriage and as parents. But I would not want to do this thing called life with anyone else other than her.
As a counselor, I’m always looking at techniques and tools to help people grow closer together. One of the forefront techniques out there comes from the Gottman Institute, who look at how to make relationships stronger. They are not Christian based, but the assessments (linked here) are so powerful, it would be a disservice not to use them. I’d like to encourage you guys to use these tools for your marriage. The brief description tells you about the tool and almost always you are filling them out separately, to then come back together to have a conversation.
My wife and I will be doing them as well and I’d love to hear if this might help your marriage.
I’d encourage if you and your loved one are having significant problems, to go seek counseling first, as I share these tools specifically for enriching what is already on a positive foothold. And if you have any questions about what you got, I’d be happy to chat, as a friend not as your counselor. 😉
I am a huge fan of dreaming of, creating, and working towards goals for one’s self. So New Years is an extra little special time for me because many different people are wanting to create goals for themselves and I feel extra festive. Last year, I had the goal of being able to work towards running a marathon which ultimately did not work out because of a medical condition. But just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean I need to stop, in fact, this seems to strengthen my resolve. So I have come up with a couple of new goals for myself for 2018.
So recently I experienced a major shift in my life because I was being triggered into having migraines. The whole issue about migraines is not only just the pain it brings, but also you end up changing your entire life because you have a fear you may have another migraine attack. You change your entire schedule so you are always at home, near medication, or able to just leave at a moment’s call. Some of the things that may possibly trigger a migraine, you immediately stop. And the things that you are having fun doing and the goals that you have set for yourself are now not the most important thing. It has to be about your health it has to be about this thing that’s happened to you.
Have you ever been in that situation where you want to do something but you don’t know exactly how to do it and you do not have the time to do it? I feel like that’s my everyday. I love learning and I love doing things. The problem is I want to do too many things all at the same time and my expectation of quality is way too high.
I make a joke that I say no to 10 one million dollar ideas every day so that I can focus on them. Honestly though, I really do have passion and drive, but the hard part is directly these thoughts plans.